Ask Barbara

Barbara encourages you to ask questions that are personal in nature and also questions pertaining to astrology, relationships, work interaction, spirituality and larger global issues as well as the human response to change. A selection will be made from questions that are of general interest and posted regularly.
 
Ask your question.

Question:

Dear Barbara,

A few months ago, my husband underwent successful multiple by-pass open heart surgery. During that stressful period, I actually found myself experiencing an unusual state of deep peacefulness. Now, I’m having difficulty maintaining that sense of peace and even finding it hard to meditate at all. I also notice that my husband continues to hold on to old hurts and anger, despite his chance for new life, and I’m feeling very impatient with him.

What can I do to recapture my own inner center?

Anne

Answer:

Dear Anne,

When we are faced with major crisis and the possibility of the loss of a loved one, it can pull the emotional rug out from under us. We may initially react out of fear and instinctively revert to habitual survival mode. Beyond that immediate reaction, such an experience can also serve to open a portal in our consciousness that enables us to shift from our usual operating system of defensive behaviors. Resources deep within us may be activated that trigger a profound connection to a greater source. It’s like a switch from alternating to direct current and is often accompanied by that sense of deep calm and flow that you described.

You may be having a hard time accepting your husband where he is and not where you feel he “should” be. The most profound spiritual breakthroughs are hardest to maintain in the face of those daily irritants that drive us crazy! That’s part of being human. The key word for you is “acceptance” – most especially of your own human nature. From that place of acceptance your sense of true well-being can replenish itself.